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Parenting shift: Empathy over forced manners for kids 💭

Raising Kind Kids: Why Forcing Manners Doesn't Work

Every parent wants their child to be polite and respectful. But constantly pushing kids to say "please" and "thank you" might actually backfire. Here's a better approach to helping children develop genuine kindness.

Why Forced Manners Create Resistance

When parents demand that children use certain words, kids often feel frustrated and rebellious. Imagine being told to say something you don't feel - it doesn't feel authentic, right? Children are smart and want to understand why being kind matters.

The Power of Showing, Not Telling

Kids learn best by watching their parents. When you naturally say "thank you" to others, show respect, and demonstrate kindness, your children will start mimicking these behaviors. It's like magic - but really, it's just good parenting!

Words Of Wisdom

“Praise effort, not just the result.“
- Carol Dweck

Building Emotional Intelligence

True politeness comes from understanding feelings. Instead of forcing a "sorry" or "please," help your child recognize emotions. Ask them:

  • How might the other person feel?

  • What could make someone happy?

  • Why is kindness important?

Reducing Stress for Kids Constant pressure to perform can make children feel anxious. Some kids are naturally shy or struggle with social interactions. Creating a supportive environment where they feel safe to learn is much more effective than strict rules.

Tips for Raising Genuinely Kind Kids:

  • Model the behavior you want to see

  • Explain the reasons behind good manners

  • Praise authentic acts of kindness

  • Be patient with your child's social development

Bullet Points:

  • The article advises against parents compelling children to adopt good manners, as it can lead to resistance and insincerity.

  • It suggests an empathetic approach helps children develop true politeness and emotional understanding.

  • Emphasizes children learn better through observation rather than forced obligations.

  • Recommends parents to set positive behavior examples for natural imitation by children.