The mom explains that her daughter left her friend group after some conflicts and hurt feelings. Even though the daughter deeply regrets it, she says there is no way to fix things with those old friends.

She tried to connect with a larger group at school, but it has not gone well. That group talks about plans and group chats that do not include her. At one painful moment, no one would scoot over to give her space at the lunch table, and she ended up sitting on the floor nearby.

In a school with only 30 girls in the grade, the social groups feel locked in and hard to break into. The daughter shared that she used to feel funny, relaxed, and like herself around her old friends. Now she barely speaks in groups because she is afraid of being judged. She spends most of her energy just trying not to look awkward.

This mom is honest about something important — she worries that her own emotions are making things worse. She thinks about her daughter's social life constantly. Watching her daughter be unhappy feels physically painful to her. A therapist once told her she was too focused on whether everyone around her was happy, and she fears that is still true.

She asks a really good question: "How do I support her without panicking?"

That kind of self-awareness is actually a great first step.

Slate's editor in chief Hillary Frey, who filled in as Prudie, offered some helpful ideas drawn from her own experience as a parent:

- Try a club or activity at school. Group settings like clubs can break up the usual social patterns and create chances for one-on-one connections that are harder to find at lunch or in class.

- Consider making a guy friend. Frey mentioned that her own daughter built one of her best friendships in eighth grade with a boy. The drama was much lower, and it turned into a real, lasting friendship.

- Ask a teacher for a lunch break. If lunchtime feels like a battle zone, finding a trusted teacher who will let a student eat in the classroom can give a lonely kid a real break from the pressure.

The big idea here is that friendships do not have to come from school alone. Sports teams, community events, art classes, and volunteer groups can all open doors to new connections.

Frey was gentle but direct with the mom. She encouraged her to keep going to therapy for her own support. She also shared that when things were hard with her own daughter, she focused on making fun plans together — day trips, movies, museum visits, even a tradition like a holiday trip.

The goal is not to be your daughter's best friend or to shower her with stuff. It is about building shared memories and staying connected. That kind of bond can be a powerful anchor for a teenager who feels lost.

Frey also reminded the mom of something important: this will pass. Middle school is rough for almost every kid, even the ones who look like they have it all figured out from the outside.

Friendships during the middle school years shape how kids see themselves. When a child feels left out or rejected, it can damage their confidence and make it harder to take social risks later. But when kids learn to get through hard social moments — with support — they actually build real strength.

The key is balance. Parents need to offer support without taking over. Kids need guidance but also room to work things out in their own way. When parents stay calm and connected, kids feel safer taking the steps they need to take.

The story of this mom and daughter is something many families know well. Social struggles at school are painful, and they do not come with easy answers. But with patience, outside activities, and honest communication, kids can find their people — and parents can find their footing too.

Sign up for the free 9 Day Kidnections Mindset Makeover at https://www.kidnections.org/. It is designed to help parents raise healthier and happier kids who are better prepared for the future — one day at a time.